mmmExperimentaLmmm

How Hetero are your Tweets

2009-07-17T15:41:00.000-07:00

mmmexperimental is 39% HeteroHow hetero are you? How hetero is Martha Stewart? Try out any Twitter name and get the real picture. Are we really the words we use? Hope to see you at Stockholm Pride!

http://www.stockholmpride.org/howhetero/

Anniversary

2009-07-05T21:03:00.002-07:00

I have been on Blogger for 3 years now. This is my first foray into journalling, my first blog, my first realization that I could post my thoughts to the web.
It is my first love of the internet and the computer. I was on dialup then. The computer was my sister's old harddrive and it went the way of the dinosaurs. I am now on my third harddrive.
3 years ago I was finally able to get on the internet. I'm always slow to get to the next tech level and this was the place I found and loved.
It will always hold a special place in my heart.

Bored!

2009-07-05T20:49:00.001-07:00

Journaling. Kinda let it go for a long while. Only seem to want to post intermittently.
Lets see, how far back shall I go?Got laid off Jan, '08. Got rehired October, '08. Since then I can't seem to balance my budget and am 2 months behind on all my bills all the time. I seem to spend all my money on food. I guess that might mean I'm more depressed than usual. Seems like I just can't get a handle on my finances. F**ked up that is, ... I am?
I have dsl which is great or bad depending on how you view it. I spent much more time with my journals when I had dialup because that was easier to do. Now with dls I can watch youtube and vids on news sites.
I moved last July and now it is a year in this cottage ... cottage literally, how cool.
My mom spent three years no going to the doctor or taking medication and her diabetes and high blood pressure caught up with her last month and she had a mild stroke. This time she was aware of what was happening and it frightened her. She is now on meds and now that her mind is clearer she is bored. Its kind funny how she is now more aware. Its was scarier this time though. She really did have a bad episode.
Me, I just move along as always. Doing nothing and moving on nowhere. I get most of my news and entertainment off the web now and don't spend as much time watching tv as I used to.
I don't really have much to say. I think of a lot of stuff but ...
Well, that's it for now. Life is as effed up as ever and I wish for more ... but what?

2009-06-28T10:36:00.000-07:00

2009-06-02T20:31:00.003-07:00

Dennis Grabosch 2

2008-06-24T19:58:00.002-07:00

Dennis Grabosch

2008-06-24T19:55:00.001-07:00

Thoughts and such ...

2008-04-07T13:01:00.001-07:00

* I was reading another's Blogger and suddenly felt nastalgic for my own. I don't use this much anymore or visit. I still miss dearlis. She left without saying goodbye. I was naive enough to think that I had made a friend, but maybe I insulted/offended her with my last comment to her. It was not meant that way. Its just so hard to talk to someone else about what's really in your head or how you're feeling without saying something that comes out wrong or is taken the wrong way. I really liked her posts and how she wrote. I enjoyed ... OK, I'm just a fool ...
* I got the impression from some of her writing that she didn't like it that people were actually reading her Blogger. She seemed to want to keep her thoughts and writing private, which isn't exactly what Blogger is for. That's better left to the slow sites like LOJO and DeadJournal.
* I have all these journals. I never post in them anymore. I don't know. I find that the more flist you have, the more closed you become. Like in face to face encounters, I believe I have censured myself. Afraid that if I am completely open that I will be rejected. There are things inside our heads that we never mean to share. These are our private thoughts and fantasies, day-dreams and such.
* I just had a strange thought ... I miss me. *

2008-03-20T21:30:00.002-07:00

Luke and Noah

2008-01-28T20:17:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year ~ 2008 ! ! !

2007-12-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

Happy New Year ~ 2008 ! ! !

Simon Amstell

2007-12-29T18:45:00.000-07:00

From The Sunday Times

July 29, 2007

Stand-up Simon Amstell

Never mind the pert one-liners: Buzzcocks presenter Simon Amstell is set to tear strips off himself, not nervous celebs

Stephen Armstrong

Simon Amstell is in a photographer’s studio in north London. The previous night, the Never Mind the Buzzcocks presenter was on television, comprehensively demolishing the thuggish, half-pint, Sid Vicious punk wannabe popster Danny Tourette. Amstell outplayed, outfought and outmocked Tourette, dancing around him like a ninja taking on Robbie Coltrane in a tickling competition. So I’m slightly nervous, expecting a verbal jousting match in which I’ll come off a poor loser.

Everyone comes off a poor loser when jousting with Amstell. For five years on Channel 4’s Popworld, he tore apart celebrities from Britney Spears to the Strokes with pert questions and excessively inane demands. After slipping into the MC’s chair on Buzzcocks in 2006, he’s somehow raised the ante, throwing out one-liners that are funny enough to conceal the barb. Just. Like when he told Anthea Turner to relax: “Your career’s not at stake.” Or when Amy Winehouse turned up drunk, causing him to quip: “This isn’t a pop quiz any more. It’s an intervention, Amy.” Or when the Ordinary Boys’ singer, Preston, stormed off after Amstell read passages from the woeful autobiography of his Big Brother-winning wife, Chantelle.

Yet, today, he seems curiously reflective, unpicking comedy’s heart and laying the tissue out for analysis, discussing why stand-up is such a powerful medium for painful truths. These questions are not academic, they’re about survival. His show at this year’s Edinburgh Fringe, No Self, is as close as you can get to a man emotionally and philosophically disembowelling himself on stage.

“There’s an assumption with me doing stand-up that I’m going to start mocking celebrities,” he says. “But I’ve got a forum for that, where the celebrities are actually there. I wanted to write a positive and inspiring show, but then I split up with my boyfriend, who I’d lived with for years, and ended up trying to work some of that out, too. And that is how one of the lines in the show is – ‘Is there anything worse than being alive?’ ” He breaks off and giggles irrepressibly, almost falling off the high stool he has wrapped his gangly frame around.

The split is raw and recent, and he feels extremely uncomfortable discussing it with a journalist – far more so than with an audience. “It’s such an odd thing. Saying stuff on stage, I’m out there making people laugh, like they’re not the only ones feeling miserable. Here, it feels like marketing, so it’s tacky to talk about ultra-personal things. I feel much safer talking about them with a mic in my hand.”

Yet surely performers preparing to take audience money on the premise that they will embark on an emotional journey have a responsibility to prove their qualifications? If an artist is to make people revisit their own suffering, it feels cheap if they’ve felt nothing themselves – as if they’re tricksters playing with our pain. “Good point,” muses Amstell. “But it’s not really a question.” Is the show therapy? “There’s a need to do it,” he nods cautiously. “It’s a way of getting all the stuff out. If people laugh, you feel they see something of themselves in you and in your struggle. When people have the courage to expose themselves on stage and tell you the most personal, embarrassing and intimate things, then that is a proper show. More than just a witty one-liner.”

And so I bring up his parents’ divorce. It is a low blow, but we are talking about pain. His father, who owned a courier company, went, in Amstell’s words, “through a bit of a midlife crisis”. They split when Amstell was 13 – at 14, he was doing stand-up.

Presumably there is a connection?

“Look,” he explains gently, “I feel uncomfortable talking about this in print, but I feel especially uncomfortable talking about anything if there isn’t a laugh at the end of it. So, if you want to know how I get on with my parents, there’s a bit in the show where I talk about getting a new satellite-navigation system in my car, one where you can choose the voice. I went with the male voice, because that was the default, but I realised it was too judgmental: ‘At the end of the road, turn left, but you should know this, Simon.’ So I switched to the female voice – which was more like my mum – and it would say, ‘At the roundabout, take the third exit, or whichever one you want, my famous son.’ ” He smiles, delighted at my laughter. “So that is how I get on with my parents.”

Whether the split caused the stand-up or not, he proved good at it, tearing through the heats of a BBC comedy competition and becoming the youngest person to make the final. “I think I only made the semi-final, but final sounds better for publicity,” Amstell confesses with elegant charm. Flushed with success, he started sending out tapes to broadcasters while doing his A levels, and secured a presenter’s gig on the children’s channel Nickelodeon – he was later fired for being too sarcastic. Of a recent award, he says: “You’d think it would give you some security, but all it does is show that you were funny at one point. There’s no reason why you should ever be funny again.” All these downbeat quips are delivered with such sparkle, it is only on transcribing them that you realise how low-key his words are.

Perhaps the interview isn’t his ideal medium. He has said he feels most alive on camera: “It’s the same with a microphone. If you talk to someone and say life is meaningless, they’ll either get concerned or not want to hang out with you any more. If you say it to an audience, then they laugh.” We pause for a second, staring into the pot of misery that he has just lifted the lid on. I feel honour-bound to ask: are you happy, Simon? “No,” he laughs. “No, actually I think I’m fine, I’m just thinking too much.” He sighs and leans back in his chair. “Gahd, I’m exhausted. I mean, I’m 27! I should be taking drugs and having sex. That’s what I’m going to do when I leave here. But, before I do, if the photo looks ridiculous, you will write that I didn’t choose it, won’t you?”

Yum !

2007-12-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

End of the Year(2007)

2007-12-22T16:57:00.000-07:00

So, its coming to the end of the year and it's been 2 months since I last posted. This is of course the first blog I ever created and I have neglected it unmercifully since I found LJ, IJ, LOJO, DJ and CJ. This is where it all began tho. I fell in love with the internet because of this Blogger thing. I was so thrilled to find this. The others came later, but this is the first! Well over a year now! My Blogger, my mmmexperimentalmmm.
I had planned to use it to learn html and css, but I have never quite got it, so it ended up a not artificial, what is the word, Oh Yeah, superficial blog. My first loves, Jake G. The Lance and Reichen thing, Gale Harold and Randy Harrison of course. I did some gakking to the layout. But never quite figured it out.
My new loves are now Torchwood, John Barrowman and through him, Never Mind the Buzzcocks and the unique and beautiful Simon Amstell and his legs and his gorgeous hair. And John Cena, who I believe would just be beautiful as Simon's lover. I think they would be such a great couple. I fantasize about them all the time now. Hot, Hot, Hot!

And now that the year is coming to an end, I wanted to update this blog because it is my first, my entry into the joy of blogging and journals and because of that, it deserves to be visited at least by me, its owner and loved for what it brought me ~ Great Joy!
Happy and Safe Holidays, everyone who might accidently find this place. My first webby home!!!

clamtongue

2007-10-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

2007-06-05T22:34:00.000-07:00

2007-06-03T20:53:00.000-07:00

2007-06-03T20:34:00.000-07:00

Dearlis

2007-05-16T00:27:00.000-07:00

Stuff

2007-05-09T21:09:00.000-07:00

Dearlis is gone/i dont even know if she ever visited/mine is a silly site/i dont delve too deep/mostly superficial/i do wish/ well

2007-04-13T23:59:00.000-07:00

I DO SAY SO!

2007-04-11T20:26:00.000-07:00

It's not that I think stupidity should be punishable by death. I just think we should take the warning labels off of everything and let the problem take care of itself.

fairyqueen who likes to hide

2007-04-08T00:56:00.000-07:00

stuff

2007-04-06T23:10:00.000-07:00

You Aren't Scary, You're Scared

Probably even scared to see how this quiz came out!

How Scary Are You?

You Are 55% Normal

While some of your behavior is quite normal...
Other things you do are downright strange
You've got a little of your freak going on
But you mostly keep your weirdness to yourself

How Normal Are You?

Eclectic

2007-04-06T22:59:00.000-07:00

the trouble with Blogger is that its so slow to boot up if you have dial up/been playing with Blogthings and thought i was overposting on LJ/

You Are a Liberal for Life

You've got a bleeding heart - and you're proud of it.
For you, liberal means being compassionate, pro-government, and anti-business.
You believe in equality for every person, and you consider yourself universally empathetic.
Helping others is not just political for you ... it's very personal too.

What's Your Political Persuasion?